Embracing the Hug

    Young, old, short, tall, thin, round, pale, dark, republican, democrat, vegetarian, carnivore...different words all used to describe Christians. Yet one word is universal: Hugger. Christians like to hug. The automatic assumption is that since I am a Christian I like to hug people too.  I must say I missed that in Sunday School 101. I was never much into the whole hugging thing. Now before you go making assumptions that I was unloved as a child, I would like to point out that I have two great parents who were very loving to me. I have noticed in past years that both my brother and sister are not nearly as flinchy when it comes to the hug as I am. So I think it is safe to rule out the whole nurture issue in this nature vs. nurture debate.
  Growing up with a family in the military had us in and out of churches through out the years. By the time my hugaphobia really developed we, for the most part, were not attending a church regularly. I ended up at a little college campus attending a fairly liberal christian worship service that took place on campus once a week.These people hugged. I got a hug for showing up. A hug for returning. Hugs for when I looked sad. And I even tried looking overly happy to avoid a hug but ended up with one any way because "you have such a pretty smile." These guys were the type of students who walked around passing out free hugs to people they didn't even know in the hallways. And I was a hugaphobic in the middle of all this. What could I do though? I was the new kid and I needed new friends. Beyond that I needed a stable Christian group to support me through these college years. So I did the only thing I could, I wore a "hugs not for sale" sign. Okay I didn't really do that but it was awfully tempting after seeing students offering free hugs.
  Fast forward two years and I can admit that I am a recovering hugaphobic. I still don't jump at the chance to hug complete strangers but I defiantly love hugging my friends. Why? Well there was something I came to realize fairly early on. Something as simple as a hug acted as a security blanket for so many of my friends. It showed them that they were loved and as friend I was going to support them whether it be in that one moment or during a greater struggle down the road. A hug was certainly not my cup of tea but I knew it was what some people in my life needed. So I hugged. And what I found was that by hugging my friends and providing what they needed in a small way, I was actually starting to enjoy the experience because it made them happy.  It may seem like something trivial but this small act meant the world to some of my friends in the last two years.
  Later on I would come to find that a guy much more knowledgeable and well worded then me would come to call this the five love languages. Maybe some of you have heard of him. You know that little known author named Gary Chapman. (Check out his website! http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ ) Basically he explains in his book that there are certain ways people express and receive love. My fiance and I read this one day. It came as no surprise to me that his love language was physical touch.  He loves scooping me up in his arms every chance he gets. He just loves to be near. This defiantly has been a bit tougher for me. The cool thing is though that I enjoy being able to be close to him because I know it is what he needs to feel loved.
  Go out of your way to show someone an act of love. It may seem like a chore at first. But I can guarantee it will affect you somehow. Who knows, it may just end up changing how and why you choose to love others.